Getting Away

Last weekend, I had my first kid free 24 hours in almost 2 years.  I left Thursday night and didn't come home until Saturday night.  All I could think leading up to my departure was how I was finally going to have some time to focus on myself...for a change.

I dreamed of sprawling out in a king sized bed.  Talking to adults about adult things. Not cutting anyone's food in to small choke proof pieces.  It was going to be great!  Marty predicted that I would miss the children more than I thought.  HA!  Fool who gets to leave the house everyday!  What did he know?  Sure I would miss them, but I was going to bath in the waters of solitude and drink the nectar of quiet.

When I left on Thursday, I got tears from Rachel and a promise that she would cry every night that I was gone, a cheery send off from Nicholas and basically indifference from the baby.  I gassed up and headed off in to the sun set as quickly as someone heading south from DC can do during rush hour.

The trouble started when I found myself listening to Veggie Tales and Curious George in the car.  I was supposed to be listening to grown-up music and NPR.  But I blamed that on the traveling and the fickleness of picking up radio stations as one travels.

Then I kept checking the rear view mirror to check on the kids in the back seat.  In my world there are always kids in the back seat.  My stomach jumped in panic each time I saw the empty seat.  Before I could remember that I was on a grown up trip, my motherly instincts would set off an alarm.  Had I left the children somewhere?!?  Yes I had...with their father...at home.  Sigh of relief.

I got the hotel, checked in and checked out the room.  I immediately called home to check on the family.  Everyone was fine.  I turned on the television.  Nothing good.  So I went to Merchant's Square to pick up some dinner.

As I wondered around, browsing the shoppes, I found that all I was interested in buying was stuff for the kiddos.  I bought Nicholas an adorable tricorner hat and Rachel a Holly Hobby bonnet.  I did manage to buy something for myself too...a sandwich for dinner.

By the middle of Friday, I had to admit that maybe Marty was right.  I missed my family desperately.  While traveling with the whole crew is a lot of work, being without them is just lonely.  I missed the noise, the chaos, the hugs and kisses.  I missed hearing their stories and endless explanations of mundane everyday things.  I missed my husband and kids, my family.

Since I couldn't go home, I did the next best thing.  I called my Mom and Dad and asked to stay at their house the second night.  I was the choice.  I got to have adult conversation and I only had to put myself to bed, but I was with family.

So in leaving my family, I learned that with them is the only place for me.