Nohe 5

The Gift Santa Didn't Bring

Rachel covets the American Girl dolls.  Many of her friends have them and she thinks they are the Bees Knees.  Her father and I just do not agree with her.

First of all, it is an 87 dollar doll.  Call me cheap, but it is a cotton and vinyl doll.  I just cannot see spending that much money on a single doll because I know what happens to dolls in our house: their hair gets teased within an inch of its life; they get "loved" by younger siblings; and they end up laying naked on the bedroom floor.

Secondly, when I researched the amazing American Girl doll, I found that the only depiction of a black doll was Addy, a slave who is forced to leave her baby sister behind when she and her mother run away to find her father and brother who have been sold away from the family.  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? 

For those of you without elementary school aged daughters, each American Girl doll depicts a certain period in American history and is accompanied by a series of books that tell that Girl's story.  On the front page of the web page it says, "American Girl celebrates a girls inner star - the little whisper inside that encourages her to stand tall, reach high and dream big.  We take pride and care in helping girls become their very best today so they'll grow up to be the women who make a difference tomorrow."  So, since they only have one black doll, they must believe that the historical experience that will best help my daughter "stand tall, reach high and dream big" is that of slavery.  Not the Civil Rights movement?  Not school desegregation?  Not the Harlem Renaissance?  And if it must be slavery, why not the Underground Railroad?

No,she should model her life after an American Girl with no rights, who is only counted as 3/5th of a person, whose family is ripped apart and whose mother abandons her youngest daughter to go looking for her son.  And don't even get me started about how they gave the doll straight hair that flows all the way down to her waist further ingraining in little minds that flowing locks are the only type of beautiful hair. 

Of course, American Girl appears to be an equal opportunity racial stereotyper.  The Hispanic doll, Josefina, looks like she belongs in a Taco Rico commercial.  Kaya, the Native American doll, has a nick name that translates to "untrustworthy and selfish."  The only Asian doll, Ivy Ling, is relegated to best-friend-sidekick to the blond and gregarious Julie.  Incidentally, although both dolls were introduced this year and share in the same book series, it was only the Julie doll that was unveiled on Oprah.  What about poor Ivy Ling?

While the black Girl is escaping slavery, the Hispanic Girl is moving to a ranch to be raised by her aunt after her mother dies, and the Native American Girl is neglecting her brother, and the Asian Girl is playing second fiddle, the white Girls are having high adventures.  Felicity is helping the American Revolution.  Julie is saving endangered eagles and celebrating the Bi-Centennial.  Kirsten is settling the American West.  Kit is trying to become a kid reporter and helping to save money for her family during the Great Depression.  Molly is keeping the home fires burning and helping with the war effort during World War II.  Samantha is helping the poor at the turn of the last century.  Am I the only one who has a problem with this type of characterization?

Now don't get me wrong, I am not the type of person who sees racism at every turn.  In fact, I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt, but in this case there doesn't seem to be any other way to see this situation.  Add on to this the fact that a few year ago American Girl made a sizable contribution to Girls, Inc., a group that promotes abortion rights.   Also, there was the incident in which the folks at American Girl Place, the store and doll beauty salon (yes, you read that right, a beauty salon just for dolls) humiliated a young girl because she didn't have a "real" American Girl doll.  Clearly, this is not a company with which I want to do business.

But here's the rub, Rachel loves the dolls.  She doesn't know or care about the racial stereotyping, the abortion advocacy or the elitist attitude.  All she knows is that all her friends have American Girl dolls, they are cute and she wants one.  So what is a parent to do?

Some might say that we should sit Rachel down and explain the social implication of what American Girl stands for.  Some would say that we should get a completely different doll for Rachel and try to convince her that it is just as good.  Others may tell us to just get her a savings bond and be done with it.  But, we didn't do any of those things.  We bought a knock off and let Rachel believe that it was the real thing.  Is that wrong?  Perhaps.  We never told her that it was an American Girl doll; we just haven't corrected her.  And she loves this doll. 

Rachel named her Lilly and has built a whole history for the doll.  A unique story all Lilly's own, not one churned out by a company designed to sell additional doll outfits and accessories.  Rachel tells Lilly her own life story in a proud voice.  She tells Lilly how she was adopted, how Lilly is now her daughter and how she is going to be a good mom.  When Lilly had a little mishap this week, Rachel told me, "I have to take care of her, she is my daughter."  My heart almost broke.

If history is any indicator, Rachel's love of American Girl dolls will last until the next 1st grade fad starts.  But maybe not.  Maybe she and Lilly are about to have their own American girl adventure.  I know that it will be a great story.

Merry Christmas to All & To All A Good Night

I hope each and every one of you have the merriest of Christmas'.

Our Christmas Card This Year

Silent Night?

Teddy is almost 6 months old and still not sleeping through the night.  So Marty and I decided that the kid needs to learn a little self soothing and we have started letting him work out his sleep issues on his own versus "the wake up about 3 times a night, bite Mommy and make everyone cry" method we have been using up until now.  Unfortunately, Teddy has chosen the "cry for 2 hours straight, fall asleep for two hours, cry for another 2 hours straight, then sleep two hours, and on like this all night" method.

Last night, I fed him him bananas and rice cereal, changed his diaper, nursed him, saw that he was getting drowsy and put him in his cradle.  At first he dosed off to sleep and I declared myself Super Mom.  Then 5 minutes later, as I was falling off my pedestal, Teddy started to scream and cry.  That was at about 9:15 PM.  At 11 o'clock, when Marty came to bed, Teddy was still at it.  Around 11:30 he finally fell asleep, but at 2 AM, he was up for round two.  At about 4 he fell asleep again, but at 5:50 he was up again.  This time, I figured that it was technically morning, so I got up too.

Of course, as soon as I nursed him, he promptly passed out and has been sleeping soundly for the last half hour.  However, at this point, I know that as soon as I put my head down on the pillow, the other three children will wake up.  It is like they have a sixth sense.

Why we decided to make this change over a very busy weekend still escapes me.  Nonetheless, this whole process (this was night two) is really tearing me up.  No mother likes to hear her baby cry, but I am worried that if I give in and pick him up I will just be teaching him that long bouts of crying eventually get you what you want.  Plus, he does need to learn how to put himself to sleep without using me as the human pacifier.

As any good mother of the technology age, I consulted Dr. Google where I found even more to make me feel guilty.  There were tons of people saying it was just cruel to let a baby cry it out and that as a mother it is my duty to wake up with my child at night even if this behavior goes on until they are 2 or 3 years old.  There were also tons of people saying that learning to self sooth is a growth milestone and just like my baby would never learn to crawl if I carried him everywhere, he will never learn to comfort himself if I didn't let him do it.  Add on to all this the fact that my number one, go to baby book says to let the baby cry, even if it is the most difficult 20 to 30 minutes of night.  Great!  What do I do for the other 2 hours?

Add on to these nocturnal crying jags the fact that I have my parents visiting for Christmas, I am making a huge Christmas meal tonight for which I have been cooking literally for days and I have a cold for which I don't know if I am allowed to take any decongestant because I am nursing and you have one worn out mama.

If you have any advice, I would love to hear it.  After two nights of this process, I am just plain exhausted.

We Have Started to Potty Train

So far we have not had our first success, but (no pun intended) I feel like Jack is on the brink.  Maybe he is saving it as a Christmas gift.

So in honor of potty training, here is a little funny to end your Friday.

I Have a Baby Who Cries

Whenever people see Teddy, they comment on what a happy baby he is.  Some even go so far as to ask if he ever cries.  The answer is a resounding yes.

Teddy loves to be held.  He will sleep, eat, laugh, and smile as long as someone is holding him, but put him down and it is a completely different story.  This kid can cry and cry and cry and then just cry some more.  Literally, he can cry for hours with only brief intervals of silence when I give in a pick him up.  As his mother, it is quite exhausting.

However, what am I to do?  As much as I would love to spend my days curled up on in the bed with my wonderful little boy, I have 3 other children, a husband and a house all of which demand quite a bit of my attention as well.

I will feed him, change him, place him within mere feet (or in some cases inches of me), but none of it is good enough unless I have stopped what I am doing and am actually holding him.  I feel guilty as all get out, but I just can not meet his need to be held every second of the day.

Can you tell from this post that it has been a particularly loud day at my house filled with the sounds of Thomas movies and babies crying?  That's my life in a nut shell.

Christmas Funnies

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Santa Through the Ages

A Santa Claus retrospective.

For other fun Santa pics, visit this site.

Our Visit To Santa

Today the kids and I went to see Santa.  I don't know if this is a case of a Santa who just tells kids what they want to hear or a kid who only hears the answer she is looking for.  Anyway, Rachel asked for her one true hearts desire and, according to Rachel, Santa said that we would bring it if she is good.

OK now this presents a dilemma.  What happens if the parents aren't able to provide that desired gift?  Does the kid think A) Santa lied, B) the child wasn't good enough or C) all those kids at school are right and Santa is just a big fraud and it is all his/her parents and now the child hates the parents for not getting the right gift?  No matter what the answer, mall Santas should not be promising kids anything.

In other related news, the doll which is the most coveted gift came in the mail today...or should I say a box from the company came in the mail today with the WRONG TOY inside.  Then when I called customer service I was told that they only take orders at that number and that I could leave a message or send an e-mail.  I chose the e-mail.

No this won't cause me any stress.  I mean Christmas is only 8 days away.  Plenty of time to get a replacement for a doll that I ordered over a month ago and is now sold out and not even listed on the web site any more.

Back to Santa, who might just have to deliver for real if this other mess doesn't get straightened out.  Jack was not all that in to Santa this year.  He wasn't scared.  He was just more interested in exploring Santa's fake gingerbread house and looking at the big train that was giving children rides around the mall.  At one point one of Santa's elves yelled at me, "Hey Mom!  We have an escapee!  Your kid's heading to the train!  He's escaped!  He's escaped!"  That's what I get for not immediately returning him to the stroller and the publicly accepted restrains they provide after the picture was taken.  It is so good to know that I was able to make all those other new moms with their perfectly outfitted babies feel superior as a mom.  Consider it my Christmas gift!

Happy Holidays!

The Christmas Letter I Would Like to Send

If only our lives were as great as our Christmas letters make them sound.  Everyone would be traveling.  Kids would be doing great in school.  Everything would be peaceful and calm.  I'm as guilty as the next person.  I just finished our Christmas card complete with a note about how everyone is doing and, surprise surprise, we are all doing GREAT!!!!

However, if it weren't so darned un-Christmasy, this would be a more accurate accounting of our year.

Dear Friends and Family,

My goodness 2007 has been quite a year in the Nohe household.  I don't think that we told you in last year's letter that we were expecting, but this July 5th little Theodore Robert joined the Nohe clan.  He weighed in at 8 lbs 9 oz, but more impressive was his 14 3/4 inch head.  Having that head pressing down on her bladder all day and having an excessive amount of amniotic fluid which made her so big she needed a beeper when she backed up made the end of Kris' pregnancy very pleasant for her and all with whom she came in contact.  Thankfully it was also very hot throughout the month of June, so she could have the trifecta of pregnancy: swollen feet, enormous girth and profuse sweating.

Teddy, as we call him, is a very sweet baby and terribly social.  In fact, any time you put him down it is so upsetting to him that he just cries and cries.  He cries at home.  He cries in the car.  He cries in shopping carts at Wal-Mart (but then I think he is just trying to fit in with the othe babies).  The blessing of all the time Kris has spent carrying this 15 pound baby around was made evident when she was able to bowl a 170 last month including a Turkey (3 strikes in a row for those of you who socialize outside of the bowling ally).

Teddy also has two new teeth already, which has turned nursing in to a new contact sport in which Kris tries to anticipate Teddy's mood enough to unlatch before he bites the living heck out of her with his little razor blade like choppers.  Kris is usually alright during the day, but at night, no he is not sleeping through the night yet, Teddy generally takes advantage of Kris' grogginess and Marty is shot out of bed by the horror film like scream emanating from his wife.

The other children are doing well.  Of course, we are all glad that Jack can finally walk now.  The child didn't take his first step until he was 19 months old and the family even had his motor skills tested.  In true Jack like fashion, the day after the poor Occupational Therapist braved the ice storm to get to our house, he decided to start walking.  He has also started talking.  He has the normal "Mama," "Daddy" and "No," but also, anytime he farts, he starts yelling "Cat!  Cat!  Cat!"  I think he thinks we are going to be fooled and start looking for this mysterious flatulent cat.

Jack is also developing his artistic side.  His favorite medium is marker on wall.  Kris and Marty are considering buying stock in Magic Eraser.  He has also discovered a deep love for all things chocolate and can unwrap a Hershey kiss and pop it in his mouth faster than an adult can run across a room.  Finally, we think we may have a future St. Francis on our hands, because Jack has given up on material things.  Well not all things, mainly just clothes.  His mother often finds him roaming around the house completely naked.  He has also become down right truculent.

Rachel is doing very well in school.  She has even picked up some extra curricular activities, namely eye rolling and dancing to store muzac.  It has been a miracle that this girl has been knocked on her ceester by a cart or moving pallet when she gets all Martha Graham at Target.

Nicholas' life was thrown in to a bit of a tizzy this year, what with all the Thomas the Tank Engine recalls.  We did have a few casualties, but Nicholas seems to be handling it well.  He sure does love trains.  Now that he has recruited Jack in to his cult like obsession with "The Really Useful Engine" we know we are in this for the long haul (get it long haul, trains...nevermind.)

Another change was that Nicholas started to homeschool this year, which has been great because now Kris has someone else to add to her "Stay in your pajamas until 1 o'clock all the time hoping no one comes to the door" lifestyle.  Everyone knows that all stay-at-home-moms do is sit around letting the children destroy the house while they eat bon bons and watch their stories.

Since having 4 children in 2 and a half years, Kris has picked up a new habit, falling asleep on the couch at 8:30 PM.  She hasn't had a full night's sleep since May and she still doesn't quite fit back in to all her pre-pregnancy clothes.  She also started having the groceries delivered, because by the time she puts the toddler and the baby in the cart there is no room for food, but that's alright because whenever she puts something in the cart, Jack turns around, picks it up and throws it on the ground.  Finally, since the baby all but refuses to drink from a bottle, she has had about 10 hours away from him since he was born.  However, the ring of the phone and the promise of adult conversation will send Kris running across the house like it was on fire.

Marty is a busy, busy guy.  Since he was just re-elected to the Board of Supervisors, the family is in for 4 more years of insane scheduling, people calling the house to complain about their neighbor's barking dog and folks wanting to talk politics at inopportune moments, like during the birth of his son (yes that did happen).

Well, that is our year in a nut shell.  We hope this letter finds you having a very Merry Christmas.  We will be taking time to enjoy this holiday season right after we finish putting up the last decoration, hanging the last light and baking the last cookie, which at the rate we are going should be about February 3rd.

Love,
The Nohes