Laundry and Children

My Life in Song

My Lil' Red Neck

Jack may just be the most red neck person that I have ever met.  First he was hauling around a log and referring to it as "My Baby" as he cradled it in his arms.  Then when his shoes got muddy, he replaced them with sandwich bags which he wore on the playground...you know where other people could once again gap at "that family."  You know the one with the kid wearing sandwich bag shoes whose favorite toy is a log.

No Vestage of My Old Self

Overheard...

Jack: I hate girls!

Nicholas:  Mama's a girl.  Do you hate Mama?

Jack:  Mama's not a girl.  She's a Mommy!

What is Up With These Kid Shows?

I know as a homeschooler I’m supposed to make every experience a learning experience.  Well, um, yeah, that doesn’t happen.  There are times when I need to do laundry, cook, clean, or have a quiet moment on Facebook.  During some of that time my kids do watch television.  I swear that I tried to tell them that the television was just a big empty fish tank, but these kids are smart and they figured it out. 

 

While I do put pretty strict limits on what the kids can watch, there are some kid shows that just leave me scratching my head.  There are holes in the story that you could drive a truck through and don’t even get me started on consistency.  Of course, if I went back and watched a few episodes of He-Man, The Snorks or Voltron, I’m sure this has always been the case.  None the less, here are some of the questions that have been rolling around inside my head in regards to children’s television.

 

1. How old is Sponge Bob supposed to be?  Squidward and Mr. Crabs often refer to him as a kid, but he lives alone in his own house, holds down what appears to be a full time job and has his own pet.  But they also point out that he is not old enough to drive a car.  In addition, he apparently attends school full time at what seems to be at an Elementary School level.  I understand that this is a show about a talking sponge who lives in a pineapple and is best friends with a starfish and a squirrel that lives in an underwater bio-dome, but these incongruities bother me.

2. How come Handy Manny never has the parts that he needs while Kelly always does?  The things that this woman keeps in stock boggle the mind.  In a town the size of Sheet Rock Hills, why would the local hardware store keep elevator parts in stock?

3. Why did they replace Christopher Robbin?  And where did this Darby chick come from and why is she so small?  I mean Tigger and Pooh are taller than she is and they are really just stuffed animals.

4. Does anyone else think that Annie Einstein makes up the most annoying songs on the planet?

5. How come Dora’s backpack only holds things like Map while Diego’s rescue pack can turn in to anything under the sun?

6. Who will win?  iCarly or Hannah Montana?

7. Does Ni-Hoa Kai Lan make anyone else nervous?  Why are we now all learning Chinese?  Is there something that we need to know?  Is China buying us?  I mean, after all the money that we have borrowed from them, they kind of already do.

8. What drugs to the makers of Yo Gabba Gabba do in order to think up things for that show?  I will no never need to drop acid because I am forced to regularly go on a bad trip with my kids when they watch is freaky-deaky show.

9. Who else loves Olivia?  Thank you Nickelodeon for teaching us that lesson that we don’t need to read because every great book will eventually be made in to a movie or tv show. 

10. Who else has found themselves flipping through channels and without even thinking about it stopped on a kids show and before you know what is happening you are watching Zack and Cody On Deck and the kids are in bed?  Who else’s spouse has caught them doing this and then questioned them about it?  “Hey honey.  The kids are in bed.  Do you realize that you are watching that on your own?”

Sorry Kids, the Maid is OFF

My daughter and I had a huge blow up yesterday.  She was sitting in the back seat of the car (incidentally, the area where only kids sit) and she pipes up, "Hey Mom.  When are you going to clean up this car?  It's a mess!"  Excuse me?  When am I going to clean up the car?  Hello!  Who sits back there?

This comment of course lead to a discussion about how Mommy is not a maid, servant of slave and that it is physically impossible for me to keep up with the messiness of four children and that it would be nice is required that certain bigger children help out at times.  So I pointed out that since she discovered the mess, my daughter could clean it up.

Apparently something different happens when she cleans out the car that is soooooo horrible that the mere mention of the task should bring on tears of frustration and cries of "Unfair!"  Well, if you can't help me, then you can spend an evening in your room.

I realized last night that what I said is true.  I can not keep up.  The house is falling apart around my ears.  I have laundry piled up in at least three different rooms.  Plates, bowls and cups are constantly left out.  And don't even get me started about the bathrooms.  Are the floor and the towels having some torrid romance?  Because I keep finding them together.

So I realized that it is time for a formal chore chart.  I have been saying for a while that I need to make one out, but heretofore I found it just simpler to do it myself than to train these little savages.  But that is changing right now!

So with an 8 year old, a 6 year old and a 3 and a half year old, what are appropriate chores?  What do you make you kids do?

Watched An Amazing Movie

No, not Monsters vs. Aliens, although it was great and I know that it will become a part of our DVD collection.  No.  I'm talking about Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.

This film has been on my list to see for a long time, but, after a long day, who would think that a documentary hosted by Ben Stein covering the controversy of the place of Intelligence Design in science would be at the top of anyone's "Must See" list.  Well it should be.

This film is intelligent (no pun intended), thought provoking, a bit irreverent at times, and quite entertaining.  The sheer number of people that Ben Stein speaks with is impressive all on his own.  More so however, is due to this fact, everyone gets to say their piece.  Sure Stein has a bias on the subject.  He states that in the trailer.  Nonetheless, he, unlike some of the scientists in the film, allows those who disagree with him (and some get down right nasty in their disagreement) have their say.  They get to make their points and true colors come out to play.

I know most folks will think, "Oh my.  Really?  You want me to watch a documentary?"  Yes.  Now I know that not everyone share my love of documentary films (I really do just love a good documentary.), but this one is worth your time and I promise that you will not feel like you are back in 8th grade watching a film strip on the Origin of Species.  You will (I hope.) enjoy it.

PS- If  you have Netflix, it is on Instant View.  So what are you waiting for?

Letter to my Daughter As She Turns Eight

 SLOW DOWN!!!!

You are so anxious to grow up.  You even described your birthday as half way to driving.  You count down the years to all the "grown up" things that you are looking forward to doing: wearing make-up, dating boys, babysitting, driving, going to college, etc., etc., etc.  I know those things seem so important when you are looking at them with an eight year old's eyes, but you have some pretty important things to do now and I don't want you to miss out on them because you are so focused on growing up.

At eight years old, you can spend hours in the imaginary worlds created by you and your brothers.  You direct them in plays and concoct fabulous adventures.  You are more a master of your schedule now than you will ever be again.  When you are a grown up, long gone will be the days when you can idle away an afternoon bothered only by your fantastic whimsy.

At eight years old, you body hums and flies on the softball field.  Someday when you are a grown up your bones will creak and a good game will be followed by a sore morning.  Enjoy your limber limbs, your nimble feet and play hard.

At eight years old, you are on the cusp of a world of knowledge.  Sure you tell me that you hate school, but the world is opening up to you.  There is even more to know now than there was when I was  eight.  Gone are old, dusty encyclopedias.  You literally have the whole world at your fingertips.

At eight years old, you have a better sense of style than I will ever have.  At eight years old, you are not encumbered by years of self-doubt painted on every decision like so many layers of paint.  You are sure that each style decision is one that deserves to be tried and so often they work out.  At times I find that I have to bite my tongue and allow you to try something that is perhaps not in my fashion repertoire (like the pink butterfly pants paired with the purple star top that you are sporting today), but I want you to enjoy the freedom that comes with being eight and not knowing any better.  Or maybe you do know better and just don't care.

At eight years old, everything is possible.  No path has been chosen.  No decisions made.  You can still tell me with all h

onesty that your life plans include being a rock star at 14, then becoming a fashion designer, and finally you think you might want to go in to politics.  The whole world is yours.

I know how hard it is to stop and look at what is going on with you right now.  Everything seems to be just out of your reach, but it will be here before you know it.  So, slow down.  Have fun playing dress up as an adult and then come back to me my eight year old daughter.  Someday it won't be dress up and you'll have a home of your own and won't be coming back to me.