I must say that I am feeling validated when it comes to our choice to homeschool Nicholas for Kindergarten. I was flipping through the most recent edition of Parents when I came across an interview with Michael Thompson Ph.D talking about his new book It's A Boy: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18. Below is one of the questions from the interview.
Can you discuss how the structure of the modern kindergarten class works against boys?
It used to be all about play and social development. Now, because of the increased emphasis on state testing in the lower grades, kids are expected to read fluently, write legibly, and listen quietly. Boys lag behind girls in these areas. They also lack self-control compared with girls in the same age, so their more likely to be singled out for bad behavior. And since there are fewer free-play and recess opportunities today, it's no wonder that boys are being left behind.
What's the best way to improve your son's focus in school?
Boys have always had trouble paying attention in class. But they don't have a problem focusing for long periods of time on things they love. The best thing you can do at home is to provide him with quiet time to engage in fantasy play with his favorite toys. That means turning off the television, providing a clear space, playing games with your son regularly, and not scheduling too many after-school activities. Play is his natural sanctuary, and you need to protect it.
Nicholas and I have had a great year of homeschooling. We still have several months until the "end of the school year," however, I am already counting this year as a huge success, but that success is not just academic.
At this point, Nicholas is a good reader for a child his age (according to the state, he should not be starting kindergarten until next year but he is almost done with his Kindergarten Phonics) and he is excellent at Math (First Grade level). And when I started homeschooling, that was the most that I hoped for. I told myself that if Nicholas could read at the end of the year, it would have been a good year. Oh, what low expectations I had.
Because we homeschool, Nicholas has more free time to play than other kids his age. He sets up elaborate stories for his trains. He can turn a stick and an hour playing outside in to a grand adventure. And he and I have time to talk, really talk, so that I know what is going on inside that adorable little head of his. Sure, most of the time we talk about trains, Muppets and what his brother did to him, but we also talk about the dream he had the night before or how he likes my macaroni and cheese but the kind from the box is better. Sure, we aren't changing the world with our little chats, but I know that there is a better chance that these talks will continue in to adolescence if they start now.
I think that I feel validated by the article that I read because one of the main reasons that we chose to homeschool was to preserve Nicholas' boyhood. I want him to have time to play, time to be a kid with all the unstructured messiness that comes with it. Kids should have time to discover who they are before we start trying to fit them in to nice neat little molds of who we think they should be. Please don't misread what I am saying to mean that I think that school is evil or that we are somehow above it all. I am just saying that for our family, and for many families, we see the world a little differently and view our children's childhood as a sacred time the must be treasured and experienced beyond the morning and afternoon interactions afforded by a regular school schedule. As Dr. Thompsom said, "Play is his natural sanctuary, and you need to protect it."
