Laundry and Children

Jack Gets Stuck

This morning I heard a little voice coming from the computer.  It kept saying, "Hep.  Hep Me."  I looked under the desk, but saw nothing.  Then I looked behind the desk and found my House Imp.  We like to call him Jack.

The reason I didn't see Jack was because he had wedged himself behind the wide leg of the desk.  I am not sure that this is he kid that I am going to count on to take care of me in my old age.  Of course, that is why we had so many kids.  Choices, choices, choices.

My Spirited Little Boy

Today a friend of mine said, "You know Jack is such a spirited child.  He's not like other kids.  He must be so much more difficult for you."  I smiled, nodded and then chased after Jack before he interrupted the girls jump rope team's practice.

I can't really say that I take offense at what my friend said.  Jack is spirited and high energy, which often makes him difficult.  I sometimes look at other two year olds who have a little more self-control, speak a little clearer and whose mothers don't look quite as frazzled as I often feel and I find myself wondering if there is something wrong with my little experiment in perpetual motion.

Jack is a handful.  He is willful, energetic and at time destructive.  This child can drive me to my wits end and then push me off the cliff.

But, on the other hand, he makes me laugh.  He is definitely the court jester of our house.  The sense of humor on this kid could transform a stoic in to Uncle Albert bouncing on the ceiling with laughter.  He puts as much energy in to making me laugh as he does in to driving me nuts.  So would I be willing to trade in my bouncy comedian for a calm child?  Not on your life.

Jack lives life vigorously and that takes a lot of energy.  No matter what he is doing, he is experiencing all of it to its fullest.  Unfortunately, at this age that means that he runs away sometimes trying to experience the whole of the world and there is just so much world to explore, but this is a trait that will serve him well as he gets older.  He will never be a shrinking violet on the sidelines of life.  He will be right there in the think of it yelling for more.

Finally, Jack's destructiveness is not born out of malice, rather curiosity.  He is always trying to figure things out.  For all of his energy, when he is intent on a project, that is all there is.  Tonight he was playing a new game on the computer and turned down ice cream so that he could have more time to play.  I know that I am probably looking at years of finding computers, clocks, toys, ect. pulled apart (and Jack will have his partner-in-crime Nicholas helping), but just think about what he could come up with once he starts putting things together for himself.

There are also traits in Jack that make my heart just about burst.  A Jack hug is like no other.  They usually don't last long, but they are full of sincerity and love.  And his laugh is like fireworks, explosive and full of light.  His galloping run as he tries desperately to keep up with his big brother and sister is endearing.  His daring, while terrify as his mother, is wondrous.  There are no strangers in Jack's world and he will make friends with anyone no matter their age.  Also, he is a complete ladies man.  Just today he had an entire girls jump roping team, about 8 middle school girls, gathered around him and eating out of the palm of his hand.  His standard line is, "Hi.  I Jack.  I fast."

I would be lying if I said that Jack didn't drive me out of my gourd some times or that I look forward to going grocery shopping with him because I am sure that all the other people can see the same potential that I see.  He is difficult.  He is a handful.  He is spirited, energetic and, at times, completely draining, but he is also amazing, loving and determined.  I look at him and I see possibility and greatness.  I see drive and determination.  I see an amazing little guy who has my heart wrapped around his little finger. 

Some days I feel like I am just trying to survive his childhood, but I know that when he has grown in to the amazing man I know he will become, I will look back on these as the happiest days of my life.

Adventures in Potty Training

After showing signs that he is ready (i.e. telling me when he needs a new diaper), I have decided to start potty training Jack.  I am a big believer in the fact that you can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can't potty train him until he is ready.  Nicholas wasn't ready until he was three and no matter what I did before that point (stickers, candy, cooling Pull-Ups) didn't get us any closer to being potty trained.

So today Jack is pantless, but he does have on a Pull-Up.  I have had other mother's tell me that the best way to potty train is to let them go totally commando, but I have enough to clean without adding urine to the mix.  Besides, Jack is the type of kid who will pee on something and just sit there until someone says something to him.  Remember, this is the kid who can lose 20% of his body weight and not bat an eye.

We are visiting the potty every 15 minutes.  We started at every 30 minutes, but we were always arriving with an empty bladder and a full Pull-Up.  So we've lowered it to 15 minutes and I am pushing the liquids.  Hey Jack, you want more juice?

So far we have had two successes on the potty, two wet Pull-Ups and one bizarre experience that involved peeing in the toy box.  I don't even know what lead to that.  Being that it is only 10 AM, I am taking our two successes as a good sign.

I've also added the positive re-enforcement of a Hershey's kiss every time Jack has a successful trip to the potty.  If I had thought about the fact that it is summer, I might have picked a different treat, but these were on sale and I am just too cheap to buy stuff that is not on sale.  Maybe that will change when I am back to buying diapers for only one kid.

Ms. Population Control

Sometimes I want to go where no one knows my son's name.  However, because he is two and he is high energy, by the time we leave everyone knows that Jack has been there because I have said his name about 5,823 times.  This weekend's trip to the grocery store was not different.

At first I had him corralled in the back of the cart.  I know full well that they warn against doing this on the seat part of the cart, but let's just say I want my kids to be risk takers and leave it at that.

Well, he sat back there until I noticed that he was eating something and it was something loud because he was really crunching away.  Then I noticed the box of dried pasta was ripped open.  Yes, my son had opened a box of Penne and was chowing down.  It is gross just to think about it.

So I pulled him out of the cart, which went alright until he decided that he would like to lie on the ground, hold on to the bar that goes between the wheels and be dragged around the store on his belly.  After I stopped his belly boarding sans board, he started running his hands along all of the items on the shelves as one would do along a fence.  I noticed this move when I saw him with his hand going down and isle of olives in glass jars.  My heart nearly stopped.  So he finally resigned himself to alternating between running away and hanging from the handle while dangling his feet and kicking my shins.

Any childless person who saw me chasing, correcting, and nearly pulling my hair out will probably never have children now.  Just call me Ms. Population Control.

Good Gravy! What Did I Feed Him?!?!

I know that this sort of thing shouldn't be discussed in polite society.  Nonetheless, this is my blog, not polite society.

Jack had a diaper that smelled so bad that I had to take it outside.  Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Stop at the Diaper Genie, Do Not Collect $200.  It was nasty.

I take back everything that I said about Mother's Day.  After that diaper this afternoon, I deserve to sleep in, have breakfast in bed, go to brunch, followed by a day at a spa.  Yes, it was that bad.

He Will Be in Time Out Forever

I have been doing all that I can to keep our food budget under control.  I'm like some sort of crazy person at the grocery store checking what costs more per ounce, what's on special, buying in bulk, ect.

Well, today I was clipping coupons when Jack woke and wanted lunch.  I had already cut up two hot dogs for him in case he needed to eat them in the car on the way to pick up his sister.  He immediately took the container and emptied it on the floor.  Even shaking it for effect.  I went blind with rage.

Here I was clipping coupons and planning our 47th chicken meal in a row to save money on food and he is just throwing food away.  Well he is in time out until I feel like I can let him out and not kill him.  I am also hard pressed to make another lunch for him, so that he can throw that on the floor too.

Oh that boy is driving me crazy, crazy, crazy.

Crawling Into Bed

As long as we have been parents and with as many times as we have had kids wake up during the night for one reason or another, we have never had a kid crawl in bed to sleep with us.  That changed tonight.  Jack was our first nocturnal visitor who wanted to stay safely tucked between Mommy and Daddy.

He is back sleeping in his own bed now, but it got me to reminiscing about when I was little and I would want to sleep in my parent's bed.  Somehow their sheets always seemed softer, their pillows fluffier and my sleep deeper.  It was like I had gained access to a secret world, the world of grown ups which appeared to filled with the freedom and luxury that can only be dreamed of as a child.

Jack was extremely cuddly tonight, which is not like him at all and I took full advantage every time he would whisper, "Hug me."  He also kept patting me on the shoulder, like he was comforting me or like he was trying to get my attention.  I can't help but feel that he was saying, "Cuddle me while you can, because I will be grown before you know it."

Tonight I gained access to another secret world, that of a little boy.  It was a world filled with hope and possibility.

I Am Raising Tigger

On the door in the kids' bathroom hang a Winnie the Pooh towel and a Tigger towel.  For the longest time, Nicholas used the Pooh and Jack the Tigger.  I never thought anything of it, because the Pooh had always been Nicholas', even when Rachel used to use the Tigger towel.

Well, this week the boys decided to shake it up a bit and Jack was suddenly using Pooh and Nicholas was Tigger.  But then today, Jack suddenly looked down at what he was wearing and had an epiphany.  You could see the thought forming in his little impish mind, "What am I wearing?  I am not a Pooh.  I am a Tigger!"

Suddenly, he stripped off the Pooh towel proclaiming loudly that it was Nicholas'.  Then he started trying to rip the Tigger towel off of its hook.  And that is when it hit me.  My kids are like the characters in Winnie the Pooh.  Teddy is Pooh, a rolly-polly sweetie who loves to eat.  Nicholas is Owl, calm and wise.  Rachel is a Huffalump, loves purple, art and is prone to missing the obvious.  And of course, Jack is Tigger.  I don't think that I need to explain that one.

The $100 Sneeze

It was a typical night at home when I called Marty, who was about an hour and a half away from home in Richmond.

Me: We have a problem.

Marty: What is it?

Me: Jack shoved sausage up his nose.

Marty:  Patty or link?

Me: Patty.  It was broken up in to pieces.  I've already pulled out two big pieces the size of pencil erasers, but I think there is more up there.

Marty: Why would he do that?

Me: I don't know.  Maybe he was protesting the vegetarian sausage I made.  Who knows why Jack does half the things he does.  I have a call in to the pediatrician's office.

After talking to the pediatrician, who is awesome and called me right away, it was decided that I should take Jack to the Emergency Room.  I was never worried that Jack would be alright, but I hate going to the Emergency Room.  We have never gotten out of there in under 8 hours and it was already 8PM when we left the house.

This time I took him to the other hospital in town that has a dedicated pediatric emergency room.  Every time I had to say, "We're here because my son shoved sausage up his nose."  I was torn between embarrassment and wanting to giggle.  At least everyone I talked to had a bit of a sense of humor about it and many of them reiterated Marty's question regarding the type of sausage.

We filled in all the paper work and I paid the co-payment of $100, which seemed a little steep, but what am I going to do, say, "Never mind.  Leave it up there."  We went to the exam room and while we waited for the doctor Jack had a high ole time turning the television on and off.  The doctor examined Jack and explained that there was in fact still sausage up his nose.  To her credit, she said it with a straight face.  Then she explained that they would thread a catheter up his nose and at the end of it they would blow up a little balloon which would be pulled out bringing the obstruction with it.

Even though it seemed that Jack was engrossed with the Goofy movie he was watching, he must have been listening, because as soon as the doctor left the room he proceeded to have a massive sneezing fit.  Out came a bunch of sausage.  When the doctor returned, I explained what happened and asked that she re-check Jack's nose.  Sure enough, in true Jack fashion, he had taken care of the problem on his own.

So we were out the $100, but on the upside, we were only there for 2 hours, a new family record.  I am glad that Jack didn't have to go through the discomfort of having the catheter procedure, but should he do this again, I am going to have him sniffing pepper to make him sneeze before we go anywhere.

Have You Ever Had To...

Have you ever had to clean up an entire box of shredded wheat off the floor?

Today I did.

Have you ever had to figure out how you are going to extricate a poop covered child from his pajama bottoms that also containing the poopy diaper which he was trying to help take off without taking off his pants first?

Today I did.

Have you ever had to call the doctor to ask if the child that you just caught sucking down a tube of toothpaste is in danger of having poisoned himself?  Could you hear the doctor chuckling when she asked, "So Jack got in to a tube of toothpaste today?"

Today I did.

Beer me strength!  It is only noon!